Matrescence: Re-emerging From Early Motherhood Years

I wrote this reflection in 2019.

I had a one and three year old.

I’m grateful that in recent years terminology of Matrescence has become more acknowledged.

That we’re rewriting old stories that are ready to fall.

Let’s step back into this Early Mothering Years Reflection.

Take it away, 2019 Amy:

At a seminar yesterday the facilitator was talking about how it takes around 2 years to complete the work of birth, and re-emerge fully back into society. I wanted to STAND AND CHEER.

This is completely at odds to what we see on social media and in our current society - it’s all skinny jeans and shiney smiles six weeks post birth.

But the reality is that the deepest shift is happening when we become mothers. Every single time.

Our identity is challenged, and a piece of us does die. This only sounds scary because it’s different from what our society acknowledges to be true.

What about instead if we normalise it?! Breathed into this change.

We throw so many parts of our old selves into the fire in this transition. And it’s unbelievably uncomfortable sometimes...

But have you ever seen a bushfire ravaged area a few months after the chaos? The awe of new growth. Divine fresh green. Abundance. Re-creation. Rebirth.

I felt it so interesting that the facilitator said that the work takes around 2 years to complete, because here I am, just one month away from that 2 year mark for the second time. And I can viscerally feel that Back Into The World transition. That re-entering. Re-emerging.

And this is deeply important for women and mothers to know. Because at so many points before this 2 year mark I have felt frustrated at not being capable of being truly Of The Outside World.

Frustrated that I couldn’t just Force It to be so.

If someone had have whispered It Takes Time.... Take Your Time... that would have helped.

I see in the clinic every day how these unreasonable expectations play a role in postnatal depletion, maternal burnout, postnatal mental health outcomes. In the raft of things that can arise in those tender early years of motherhood.

Please tuck into your mind that there is an alternative to the All Things Back To Normal by 6 weeks. And also know that the alternative is Filled With Grace and Something Quite Beautiful. And Liberating.

Don’t let society rush your process. (Not now, not ever.)

Don’t let anyone outside of yourself dictate your pace.

In intentionally going slow we Rebel against the societal need for us to be Normal again... When we are TRULY SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT

Take your time beautiful.

Take your time. Take your time. Take your time.